


Thicktor Dickiforov

by SnarkyBreeze



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A Plant Wrote This, Anal Play, Hand Jobs, M/M, Sex Toys, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 17:22:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17207684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnarkyBreeze/pseuds/SnarkyBreeze
Summary: Viktor was going to ask Yuuri to come down with him to the onsen.  He expected to find the Japanese man playing video games or maybe scrolling through social media if he was having a good day.  Hell, he even expected that maybe he was playing with any other one of his extensive dildo collection.  That wouldn’t surprise him in the least; Yuuri owned at least five that Viktor knew of, but this…Viktor never imagined he would see this again.  Not here, not anywhere.  God, Yuuri never stopped surprising him.





	Thicktor Dickiforov

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a joke! Enjoy!

Viktor Nikiforov isn’t known for having a lot of shame.  Tabloids have been making money off of his sex life since well before he even started having sex, but it never really embarrassed him.  It didn’t really embarrass him when Yakov walked in on him with that Hungarian speed skater at Vancouver 2010, or when Georgi walked in on him with Cao Bin at the Rostelecom Cup, or the countless times Christophe walked in on him and Sasha, his first boyfriend, during their vacation together on the French Riviera.

He was never embarrassed the handful of times he walked in on Chris and one of his partners, either.

He is a man of few scruples, and while he isn’t exactly  _ public _ about it, among his friends it’s well-known that there’s very little you can do to shock Viktor Nikiforov.

Which is why it’s doubly shocking when he opens Yuuri’s door one evening in late July to find his fiancé sitting upright on his bed, naked, flushed, and glistening with the faintest hint of sweat, fucking himself into oblivion on what appears to be a life-sized silicone torso.

_ A very familiar life-sized silicone torso. _

Yuuri is straddling the thing, his feet planted on either side and his toes curling into the mattress. Bracing himself with both hands behind him, he rocks his hips relentlessly over what Viktor is intimately certain is a seven-and-a-half-inch dildo.  

Viktor was going to ask Yuuri to come down with him to the onsen.  He expected to find the Japanese man playing video games or maybe scrolling through social media if he was having a good day.  Hell, he even expected that maybe he was playing with any other one of his extensive dildo collection. That wouldn’t surprise him in the least; Yuuri owned at least five that Viktor knew of, but this…

Viktor never imagined he would see this again.  Not here, not  _ anywhere _ .  God, Yuuri never stopped surprising him.

“Jesus, Vitya, close the door,” Yuuri moans, not even bothering to slow his pace.  Viktor barely manages to catch the wrecked look on his face as he casts a half-lidded glance in Viktor’s direction.  Something else has his attention. Something he can’t ignore. 

**_The Thicktor Dickiforov._ **

“An item from my dark past,” Viktor murmurs, inching in the room and snapping the door shut behind him.  “Fuck, Yuuri.”

This shouldn’t be so embarrassing.  Hell, it should be hot. Viktor’s sure that if the thing wasn’t literally modeled after him he would be all too excited to find Yuuri power-bottoming the life out of a toy like this, unable to control the erratic snap of his hips as he jerked them upward again and again.

But he was really hoping that Yuuri had never found out about this particular bit of merchandise, an ill-conceived attempt at sexual self-discovery from his younger years.

He’d insisted to Yakov and the ISU that he’d had nothing to do with it, one of those moneymaking novelties those darned adult toy companies employ to hook customers.

But no, around the same time Christophe had signed a contract for a cast of his ass, Viktor decided to let himself get roped in.  After all, why not? They’d both already posed nude in a number of magazines and received no more than a slap on the wrist for any of them.  They were well-known among their fans to be fun-loving playboys as well as safe-sex advocates in the LGBT community. They cultivated a sex-positive image for themselves that was fun and exciting in their late teens and early twenties.  Maybe it hasn’t carried over into true adulthood, but what college fantasy does? Chris has his boyfriend and Viktor is going to be married next spring. Neither of them has stopped being sex-positive or libertine, they’ve just channeled their desires into a different lifestyle.

It’s still fun to think about, although Viktor isn’t convinced either of them were ever as safe as they preached; he’s had his share of regrettable choices.  He just never thought any of them would follow him quite this far.

Of fucking  _ course _ Yuuri has the  _ Thicktor Dickiforov, _ that adorable little kinkster.  He’s been letting out more and more of his secret, encyclopedic knowledge of his own pleasure, revealing it piecewise to Viktor as they grow together, and this is just that next thing to discover, just after “Yuuri can deepthroat just about anything with ease,” and probably before something just as surprising.  Like maybe he’s got Chris’ model too, shit, if he’s hiding giant silicone fuck toys this easily, who’s to say he hasn’t?

“I don’t have Chris’, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Yuuri breathes, a little laugh falling  from his bright red lips, and despite his desire to stay as far away as possible from that abomination of a mannequin, Viktor has to come over and kiss him, because those lips are like candy apples in color and taste and he can’t pass that up.  He splays one hand across the small of Yuuri’s back and leans down to sip from that cheeky little smile, just long enough to savor the sweetness. 

Yuuri groans from somewhere deep within him, keening under Viktor’s touch and slowing his pace to steady himself, poised for another kiss.  It’s adorable how he thrusts those lips out in an expectant little pout as Viktor pulls away, and Viktor can’t resist going in for another, cupping Yuuri’s jaw with his free hand.  Yuuri opens up for him, teasing his own tongue along Viktor’s as Viktor deepens the kiss, using Viktor’s shoulders as leverage to continue fucking himself on the fake Viktor.

There’s no way this isn’t some version of the Japanese man’s fantasies.  Two Viktors? Maybe even Viktor and his embarrassing body cast? Viktor isn’t sure.  But he’s getting a lot of satisfaction watching Yuuri come apart in front of him from this new angle.  He slides his hand down Yuuri’s neck, his chest, his stomach, to grasp at his cock, already slick with precum.  Yuuri shudders and falls forward into Viktor’s shoulder with a little shout, and Viktor smiles, thumbing playfully at the head as Yuuri muffles his moans with a mouthful of his shoulder.

“Vitya, I—Fuck, Vitya, I’m—”

He can hear the telltale shallowing of Yuuri’s breath, feel Yuuri swelling beneath his fingers, and before Yuuri can even get the warning out, he’s coming into the space between them, biting down on Viktor’s shoulder as orgasm seizes his body, his hips still bucking and grinding on the toy beneath him.

This is the kind of orgasm Yuuri loves, the kind that tears through him and leaves him teary-eyed and shaking, the kind that took some time for Viktor to really figure out.  

With a toy like this, he realizes now how Yuuri came to develop his taste for them.  He still can’t fucking believe it.

“You know, if you wanted some dick, the real thing was just a few rooms away,” he teases as Yuuri collapses back onto his pillow, an absolute wreck sprawled out under Viktor like this, the silicone dildo slipping out from between his cheeks so obscenely it leaves Viktor winded.

Yuuri’s laugh is as breathless as Viktor feels, and he covers his face with his hands as the reality of the situation starts to catch up with him.  “I was just masturbating though,” he giggles, his cheeks going the appropriate shade of crimson for getting-caught-fucking-a-fake-version-of-your-fiance-from-a-shady-adult-toy-vendor.  “I’m sorry Vitya, are you upset?”

Viktor laughs too, laying down next to him and scooping him up until they’re spooning, letting Yuuri feel his own want pressed up against his ass as he nuzzles into the curve of his neck.  “I’m jealous,” he admits, “and also a little embarrassed that I have to acknowledge that monstrosity again, Jesus, Yuuri.” He laps at the soft skin just below Yuuri’s ear until he pulls another little involuntary sound from Yuuri’s throat, then smiles.  “However did you find that, and how did you get it into your parent’s house?”

Yuuri doesn’t move his hands away from his face.  “Phichit bought it for me as a joke,” he admits sheepishly.  “I figured… well, I  _ have _ it…”

“You’re probably the only person who’s fucked one of these things who has the source to compare it to,” Viktor suggests, rocking his hips into Yuuri’s shamelessly.  

“Yeah, it’s weird,” Yuuri sighs into his palms.  “Oh, that’s weird...”

“I’d argue it’s cute, and a little embarrassing, but definitely not weird,” Viktor purrs.  “I hope you’ll let me take a turn, though, if you haven’t already used up your stamina on my stunt double.”

Yuuri nods, finally peeking out from the safety of his visual block and catching Viktor’s eye with a smile.  “Yeah, I would really like that,” he says eagerly. “Give me a minute.”

“I think I’m going to need to put him away before we do, though,” Viktor sighs, looking over at the strange copy of his own erection laying exposed on the bed.  “2008 Viktor was so much skinnier than I am now.”

Yuuri laughs.  “He’s not nearly as good in bed either,” he admits.  “I’d much rather have the real thing.”

“You’ve got it,” Viktor whispers, pressing a kiss into Yuuri’s pulse point.  “You’ve got it anytime you want it, my love.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Comments are welcomed and kudos are appreciated!


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